Who Doesn’t Want Kids

“Who doesn’t want kids?”

This is what Dr. Owen Hunt asked his wife, Dr. Cristina Yang in last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy. The couple, who is on the brink of a divorce, spent the episode in therapy with Owen trying to convince her that she will want kids, and she should have them now (since she is getting older) and will not be able to have a baby of her own in a few years. As a dedicated surgeon, he should be able to understand that she wants the freedom to focus on the development of her surgical skills.

Since the beginning of the show, Cristina has not wanted children, and has had two abortions, one from a previous boyfriend, and one from her current husband. Although Cristina had an abortion four months ago of their baby, Owen is still not able to let it go. It is the largest point of contention in their relationship, and lately Owen has acted more irrational than ever. At a party with all their friends a few episodes ago, he yelled at her “you killed our baby. You don’t ever forget that!” His yelling was so intense, I thought he was going to hit her. Suffice it to say it was neither the time nor the place to have this “conversation” but it does make for dramatic television.

People on screen, and off-screen get heated about having children. Some people definitely do want kids, and others absolutely don’t. And that’s fine, right? If everyone had kids, the world would be even more populated than it already is. Which is too much for the planet to sustain, but that’s a hefty topic for another post.

It isn’t always women that want to have kids and beg them or trick them into having children. Societal pressures, husbands, parents, friends, etc exert a lot of pressure onto a couple to procreate. A lot of will and determination is required to fend off these assumptions. It’s not okay to tell anyone that they’ll change their mind in a few years, that they don’t know what they want. Who the hell is anyone else to tell you what to do with your body? And the next 20+ years of raising your child, who will be raising them? Yup, not your freaky, hormonal co-worker who is obsessed with “everyone!!!!” having a baby.

As someone who does not have kids and can not imagine having kids, I am unable to put into words how much I HATE being told I will one day. Like some estrogen fairy will fly down from above, put me into some trance and magically I will desire nothing more in my life than to take care of a screaming, pooping, tiny human. I know there are a lot of people out there that are told they too will one day want kids, or that they are weird (or worse) not to want them.

Grey’s Anatomy and ABC are showing us, via Cristina, that it is okay not to have children. Even though it may cost you your marriage.